I’ve been going back through some old ProTools sessions recently and have come across some solo ‘cello pieces that I made back in 2007.
2007 was a very different time in my life - I had been living my 20’s in what for me was a difficult situation, and music was tied up closely in that life choice. When I left that situation I also left the music, and to help manage the emotions of the transition I spent years actively ignoring any of the creative work I had done.
As I’ve gotten older, my feelings about that era have evolved, and recently I’ve been starting to look back at some of those parts of me I left behind.
I didn’t make much solo work during my 20s, but what I did do I never published. And I’m realizing that no matter what else was swirling for me during those years, this solo music was entirely mine, and entirely for me.
And in the spirit of owning that part of me, of letting it all not be so precious, and in claiming my own part of my own creativity, I want to share some of that music.
I have called the series “Scoriation”, and if you’re interested, more of the pieces are on my Soundcloud page.
The above is microtonal solo ‘cello with amplification, improvised in a single take.
I’ve had the experience, more than once, of giving something to a piece of music to make it happen. You give some frustration or some difficulty and the piece takes it away for you. But then it also contains it, it has it. The music represents that thing for you, the thing you wanted to get rid of. There are pieces, one in particular that is rather old at this point, I had to stop playing because of how they were born; that’s hard for all these reasons–it’s ignoring yourself and it feels wrong but necessary but irresponsible.
But you’re right: those things are no less yours, no less a part of you and no stronger or more overbearing or oppressive than you allow.
This piece is really beautiful, Hans. Can’t wait to hear more.